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WHAT IS A REAL MAN?

The definition of “Real” – genuine; not counterfeit, artificial, or imitation; authentic: a real antique; a real diamond; real silk.

The definition of “Man” – an adult male person, as distinguished from a boy or a woman.

And therefore, one could say that a Real Man is a genuine, authentic adult male person.  Not artificial or counterfeit, and not a boy.

As opposed to what,?  An unreal man?  A fake man?  It’s actually both an unreal and a fake man, or more to the point, the fictional product of television advertising.  Think back to the last commercial you saw on TV that used the phrase “Man” in it.  There was Miller Lite’s “Man Up” commercials, Bud Light’s “Real Men of Genius,” and the Pepsi Max ads that proclaimed that “Real Men Don’t Cry.”  Then there are the ads, like the ones for 1800 Tequila, where Michael Imperioli very smugly tells the viewer that Real Men drink premium tequila.

So according to Madison Avenue, these are also “Real Men.”  But there is a big difference between what we believe makes a Real Man and what advertisers and television would say is a “Real Man.”  The best way to show the difference is a little exercise I’d like you to do.

To do this, I’d like to ask you a simple question.

Who do you most admire?  Who are your heroes?  Who, if you could be anyone, would you like to be?  Who is the person that you would like your son, nephew, or friend’s child to emulate?  And not because they have money, fame, or power, but because you believe they are a truly exceptional person.  I’d like you to make a list of three to five people you most admire.

You can put down whoever you want on your list.  I would simply suggest that they be people who you admire not for a single skill or ability nor for one period of time in their life, but someone who has consistently and with great humility behaved in a manner that you admire and that you would aspire to.  So it you’re thinking of putting down LeBron James or Sydney Crosby, please make sure it’s for something other than being able to cram a basketball through a hoop or roof a puck.

So I’d ask you to make a list of the 3 –5 men you most admire.

Now, the next question is, what about these men or women do you most admire?   What quality do these individuals possess that you believe makes them so unique that they deserve to be placed on your list?

When I think of the 5 men I most admire, I see there are common qualities those men have, namely:

  • Humility
  • Loyalty
  • Unselfishness
  • Honesty
  • Courage
  • Reliable

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Dan Millman

"I wanted to whisper in people's ears, 'Wake up! Wake up! Soon the person you believe you are will die - so now, wake up and be content with this knowledge: There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love is the only reality of the world, because it is all One, you see. And the only laws are paradox, humor and change. There is no problem, never was, and never will be. Release your struggle, let go of your mind, throw away your concerns, and relax into the world. No need to resist life, just do your best. Open your eyes and see that you are far more than you imagine. You are the world, you are the universe; you are yourself and everyone else, too! It's all the marvelous Play of God. Wake up, regain your humor. Don't worry, just be happy. You are already free!”

From The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman.

Stephen Hawking

“Who could have wished for more?”

Stephen Hawking, commenting on his life (with the help of a voice synthesizer)

Andy Hertel

Proprietor of Maple Heights Farm
Westminster, MA
www.mapleheightsfarm.com

Know where your food comes from and how it is raised or grown. Know your farmer well enough to be able to take a picture of him in your kitchen when he delivers your meat and egg order (Andy is good enough to do this for us).

For more information, read The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan.

Lloyd Dobler

“I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.”

And, as his female friend, Corey Flood says to him:

“The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy.”

Lloyd Dobler from the movie SAY ANYTHING

Deepak Chopra

THE SEVEN SPIRITUAL LAWS OF SUCCESS
The Law of Pure Potentiality
Take time to be silent, to just BE. Meditate for 30 minutes twice a day. Silently witness the intelligence within every living thing. Practice non-judgment.

The Law of Giving
Today, bring whoever you encounter a gift: a compliment or flower. Gratefully receive gifts. Keep wealth circulating by giving and receiving care, affection, appreciation and love.

The Law of Karma
Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind. Choosing actions that bring happiness and success to others ensures the flow of happiness and success to you.

The Law of Least Effort
Accept people, situations, and events as they occur. Take responsibility for your situation and for all events seen as problems. Relinquish the need to defend your point of view.

The Law of Intention and Desire
Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment. Make a list of desires. Trust that when things don’t seem to go your way, there is a reason.

The Law of Detachment
Allow yourself and others the freedom to be who they are. Do not force solutions—allow solutions to spontaneously emerge. Uncertainty is essential, and your path to freedom.

The Law of Dharma
Seek your higher Self. Discover your unique talents. Ask yourself how you are best suited to serve humanity. Using your unique talents and serving others brings unlimited bliss and abundance.

A COURSE IN MIRACLES

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.

Anita Moorjani

"Our life is our prayer. It's our gift to this universe, and the memories we leave behind when we someday exit this world will be our legacy to our loved ones. We owe it to ourselves and to everyone around us to be happy and to spread that joy around."

From Anita Moorjani's book DYING TO BE ME

Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements:
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best. 

From THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz

Abraham Harold Maslow

"Be independent of the good opinion of other people.”

Abraham Harold Maslow

Eckhart Tolle

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

From A NEW EARTH: AWAKENING TO YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE by Eckhart Tolle

Wayne Dyer

"When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous."

Wayne Dyer

Michael Pollan

Michael Pollan's Food Rules:
1. Don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food. "When you pick up that box of portable yogurt tubes, or eat something with 15 ingredients you can't pronounce, ask yourself, "What are those things doing there?" Pollan says.
2. Don’t eat anything with more than five ingredients, or ingredients you can't pronounce.
3. Stay out of the middle of the supermarket; shop on the perimeter of the store. Real food tends to be on the outer edge of the store near the loading docks, where it can be replaced with fresh foods when it goes bad.
4. Don't eat anything that won't eventually rot. "There are exceptions -- honey -- but as a rule, things like Twinkies that never go bad aren't food," Pollan says.
5. It is not just what you eat but how you eat. "Always leave the table a little hungry," Pollan says. "Many cultures have rules that you stop eating before you are full. In Japan, they say eat until you are four-fifths full. Islamic culture has a similar rule, and in German culture they say, 'Tie off the sack before it's full.'"
6. Families traditionally ate together, around a table and not a TV, at regular meal times. It's a good tradition. Enjoy meals with the people you love. "Remember when eating between meals felt wrong?" Pollan asks.
7. Don't buy food where you buy your gasoline. In the U.S., 20% of food is eaten in the car.

Or to sum it up:

"Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."

From Michael Pollan's FOOD RULES